The place for yakking, yakking, yakking. The place for talking, chatting, commenting, whining, cursing, gloating.
The online version of the old-fashioned diary - the web blog.

In school now doing summary which I never handed up in the end. The document is now 43 pages long, after only reviewing 11 references. Hmm.. Let's make the final figure 100... 100 sounds like a nice and impressive number.

Spent yesterday doing absolutely nothing. Came down to school, then realized left wallet behind, so I had no EZ Link card, no matric card and no money. Naturally sponged off Trax for the rest of the day. Slept in the morning. Went for lunch and the interview then. The office kept on asking about my SEP experiences... plus some questions about social interaction with PRCs. Haa... my chances aren't that good I think. Didn't manage to deflect some tricky and pointed ones on second thought. But it's over anyway. As with all 'lucky draws' that I take part in, you don't care about the outcome until it arrives since there's nothing to lose but absolutely something to gain anyway.

Anyway went for Piano after that. Ate tea at this Waffletown place next to Coronation and we were utterly disgusted by the super slow service. Mrs See wanted to give me lessons again next Thursday but luckily the student after me didn't come and took the slot instead. Dad picked me up and we stopped by the travel agency to collect the air tickets. Hmm. Couldn't get a place at Bangkok City Inn so we're now going to stay in Bangkok Palace instead, which means I've to walk an extra 10min instead to Isetan and Zen.

Slept ultra early yesterday night so could wake up on time today and actually do some work this morning. Now contemplating what to do after I leave school this evening... should I go to Bras Brasah or Kinokuniya to look for a Chinese, Bangkok shopping guide (like the ones I read last time before going Tokyo) or should I just forget it? Trax finally got the credit card bill leftover from the London trip and I owe him some SGD600!!!.. Haiz completely broke liaoz...

Can't wait for tomorrow when I'll be flying again. Think that nowadays I'm immune to the phobia of flying already... Must remember to check out DFS in Changi Airport to see whether there are any good bargains... Hmm... realized I've never flown before during the GSS....

Well, I resolved to do some work today. And woke up at 11.30am... sheez... my overworked Bio clock knocked me out again.

OK, still can start work. But as my usual morning ritual involves reading the newspapers... it so happened I chanced upon the Focal Travel $279 Bangkok offer for 4 nights, staying at Asia Hotel. Hmm.. Asia Hotel huh? FP podders claimed the Skytrain runs through it... & the price is cheap for 5D4N... OK.. call up and ask...

Wait.. that's a missed call on my HP... USP office called me for an interview... geez... you mean they're only conducting the interviews now when they had claimed it would be done in end of May or early June? Manz.. I feel cheated... anyway, interview's on Thursday and I know nutttss about China...

Bleahz... so this is how they cheat money yet again. Take off at 7.45pm from Singapore; leave Bangkok at 1.10pm on the last day. Effectively, I'll have a grand total of 3.5D and 4N... So ditch the Focal Travel.

Farmosa's engaged; VNT no one picked up; same case for Newshan... who else on the list? OK, this one goes by Cathay too xxxx... OK... Comet Travel.. where the heck is it? Not too bad... $309 for 12.25pm takeoff flight this Saturday... returning on the last flight at 1.15pm... but only 4D3N Asia Hotel...

OK... try others... no flight.. full house flight... Call up uncle and ask... arrghh... Asia Hotel is way out of town despite having the skytrain and they host aqua and striptease shows? OK.. let's switch target to Bangkok City Inn instead... How irritating... and I refuse to stay in Narai Hotel in the financial district coz I wanna be near to Siam square and Isetan... so quit trying to convince me otherwise uncle.

Recall Comet Travel. Yupe, they have 2 seats on the Saturday flight... price for Bangkok City Inn at $298, extension $25 pax. OK. Take this boh bian lah.

Mother says, call up father and ask if he wants to go; although he won't go one lah. So call and ask for formality. Sharks. Dad says he's going. And got test on Saturday till 11+. So cannot leave on 12.25pm flight. Manz, means got to change flight timing.

Call up Comet again. (Grrr... it's waaay past lunchtime already lehz..) OK, next flight after 12.25pm is 5.35pm. OK, boh bian take this. Mum blocks the seats while I eat instant mee goreng.

So dad comes home, we go down to Comet Travel to pay up deposit. And behold, I'm introduce to a travel agency (looks like an office lehz) that I spend at least 20min walking around in the next (wrong) building looking for it and wondering why all the shops are closed with metal shutters drawn close. No air-con kind of HDB office setting. Do travel agencies even operate here? And where is #03-03? Why can't I find it? Wait... the sign on the building says Hong Lim Complex... waah.. that's the wrong building lah..

OK. Fast forward. Climb the stairs down to ground level. Look, there's Comet Travel, my father points to some shop on the 2nd storey. At last, found it. Climb the stairs back up... no wonder we didn't see it... it's on the 2nd storey.

Walk in happily... Oh Yvonne is working in the other office in the next building at #03-03... Grrr... this is the "wrong" Comet Travel. To the next building. Well, this looks more commercial... air-con, Chan Brothers on the ground floor, couple of other travel agencies as well... take the escalator up to the second floor... huh? How come no more escalator already?

OK. Finally found a lift that works. Exit. Soooo, there is Comet Travel in front. Grrr... The most difficult travel agency to find.

Even best. Yvonne isn't around. Hang around to try further mistakes from being made while we get served and pay up.

OK. Next. Go to money changer. Go home. Eat. Go library. Borrow guidebooks and fashion mags... what??? All the Thailand guidebooks have been borrowed out? $W)^%(*&)*&#% Means still got to go library tomorrow.... super sianz...

So here I am now. OK. I must do work tonight. MUZ hand up my summary by tomorrow. Grr... distracted again... oppz...

The day started off pretty alright, despite getting up at the awful time of 7am!!! (some 5h earlier than my usual wakeup time...) Down to Trax's house for a first time visit which lasted half a day. As usual, did nothing fruitful there... talk crap, do crap... kaypoh so went through his stack of photographs and his cards/letters collection and discovered (by 'seeing') a number of interesting things... Anyway I now know who it is I will make contact with 'voluntarily' next after Yusi... Incidentally I smell a rat somewhere hmm... so maybe should 'zhen' him a bit further on 2 letters to a particular person??

Day could have been so much more fun if my stomach hadn't chosen today to act up. As it was, I was reduced to a miserable, pathetic wreck something along the lines of grovelling...arrghh... stomach pain.. Freak... initially thought it might have been gastric (quite ridiculous though since I don't really get this and never hope to get it if possible??) but nope it wasn't... anyway, my condition hadn't improved by lunchtime, so Trax insisted he would send me home (since the plan to go back NUS to work fell through due to my pathetic condition...)

As it was, Panadol saved the day or what remained the rest of it. So when the train pulled into Serangoon and after a 15min nap on the train, realized I was quite well and all ready to go again... hahaha... so personally steered a blue Trax to the other platform to take the train (we had just come from) back to town.. Landed up in PS looking for tickets for Harry Potter, but all except for the first rows were sold out (never realized the show was that hot!!) So walked to Cineleisure.... where the next 2 shows were also sold out. Ultimately walked to Lido before found tickets in the 4th row... So ended up watching Harry Potter accidentally today without any prior plans... Luckily Lido's theater was big enough to accommodate the crowd which naturally, consisted of a substantial number of kids. (Maybe I should cut back my visits to town now in June, since the whole place seems flooded with schoolchildren on holiday; even worse mostly in gangs that hog the places and are such a nuisance!) Surprisingly, the 4th row was a rather nice position to sit at and just leaning back into the chair was just about the right height to view the screen.

Had a snappy dinner afterwards before going home. All in all, Harry Potter was quite OK; I thought it was a little simplified as compared to the book, but then since this story is my favorite of the 4 that I've read, I might be a little biased here. Don't regret watching it, though it was nothing great as all Harry Potter movies are.

Quote of the day (on a discussion of shotgun marriages)
...
Trax: So why do people bother with shotgun marriages?
Me: Erm... Maybe becoz the guy is merely taking responsibility for what he has done; or it's a convenient means since he likes the gal; or the gal's father will kill him if he doesn't marry her...
Trax: If he's so responsible he wouldn't have got her pregnant in the first place!
...

Went shopping with my mum today. Well she bought a whole lot of stuff... another Estee Lauder moisturizer (erm.. even the counter gal knows her already lohz..), a handbag (finally!!), pine bark's tree extract (dun ask me what it's for... very costly some more...), the bodyshop peach facial on offer...also snapped up 2 bottles of Buy-1-Get-1-Free of Loreal White Perfect since mine is finishing fast...

Me... well.. it wasn't intentional, but I was at the Laneige counter and tried their tester of a Strawberry yoghurt mask. And it smelt delicious!!!! Really good enough to eat! So forked out $39 for a can. Erm.. other than the smell, I'm not sure what other use it has? After effects - skin a bit oily hmm...

Disppointing event: Couldn't find any imitation Burberry Blue Label bag in Heeren.. well I saw one but the color is so awful and it is so obviously an imitation that well... understandably NOT interested at all... Looking at the photos of imitation bags for sale on Yahoo auctions at $50 each... They just don't match up!! Plus I'm NOT going to pay $50 and an additional $4 postage fee. Maybe I'll try Bugis instead.

Dinner at some Thai restaurant, which was overpriced for so-so food only. Should have gone Thai Express at Paragon instead. Made a trip to Cold Storage to get ham and cups of instant pasta/noodles/porridge -- will come in handy for supper in air-con bedroom.

Was reading my webstats today... and I'm shocked to discover that my blog is listed as results for searches with the following terms on altavista... "ettusais products", "fasio cosmetics review", "lancolm makeup"....Oh man... what kind of algorithm are these search engines using????? And one even came from a .com IP address... Oh manz... what is this? Some cosmetics company doing 'spy reviews' on customers??

Now is there a way to remove my URL from a search engine once indexed? Sigh....

I'm very happy. It's an empty, vacuous kind of happiness.

Well, what do I lack in my life now? Nothing. I'm doing things I like. I'm slacking. I'm not having huge amounts of stress. I'm eating, sleeping. I'm in love. I'm not worrying about studies when it's holidays. I'm not working. I'm not short of money. I'm going shopping. I'm playing my piano. I'm watching TV. So I'm happy.

It's just that... it's a very empty, unsatisfactory, aimless kind of happiness.

So what's the next thing I'm going to do? Nothing. Because I'm happy. Can't find the energy to do more wor. Can't find the energy to play piano. Can probably spend all my time in front of the computer or TV doing useless stuff.

What has my social calendar been reduced to? Zero. Not seeing anybody on a regular basis. Everyone seems to be working, or at least working towards some goal. No one's slacking like me. Too lazy to call anyone up to go out. Too lazy for others to call me up to go out.

What is my current goal now? Perhaps, just perhaps, to do proper UROP research, or to finish learning all the notes for that Prokofiev sonata. Realistically, when I wake up at noon and sleep at 3am, what on earth can I accomplish? Forever eyestrain in front of the computer, which turns to inability, unwillingness to do my research or write my summary.

Everyday when I talk to Trax, he's either reading some paper, thinking of some new idea for his algorithm, or coding. And me? Reading forums, surfing the Net, feeling bored, because I'm not doing anything. More precisely, nothing useful.

I admit I'm whining. Lots of people will probably curse me to death for whining I'm happy. Hahaha. At a certain stage in life, perhaps one will realize that happiness is not what we seek in life. That old-fashioned cliched question of 'What is the meaning of life' is maybe prelevant for a certain reason.

I feel I'm sinking into the depths of dung. And am willingly letting myself do that. Is that due to the after-reaction of an extremely stressful school term? Maybe I'm not suitable for living here.

And now I'm wondering why do I even wonder to blog. Who is reading this anyway? Just but another empty space for me to vandalise. Out of all the people who blog, my blog is perhaps the most boring and most irregular one. I wonder how I'll be like when I crack. Probably will just keep on building up the pressure in me till I explode one day. And injure everyone who'll be stunned in the process.

I guess I'm just too damn self-centered to change. And too lazy to do anything about the situation. Lying on bed in the air-con room, hugging my bolster and my pig, propped up by my 2 pillows... just some spoilt brat whining on and on and on about her latest whims and fancies. I cannot ever let myself be ruled by instinct and forsake logic, coz that is surely a doomed path.

Sometimes I feel like such a failure. While I lecture others about the need for determination to stick with things throughout, I myself always have the intention to do something really well, but get totally worn out in the process of carrying out that intention till it fades to nothingness. It's a terrible thing to be underconfident, but when one is always confident and that confidence disappears it leads to a sudden nervous breakdown. One of those things which I still haven't managed to deal with maturely/properly/politically correctly. Just have to shrug it off, I suppose.

Of the 3 goals I set for the holidays, I'll likely achieve none of them. As the clock ticks by, I feel nearer and nearer to the fortune teller's prediction. Am I superstitious? Maybe, but in this case it happens to be one of the more disturbing predictions.

If Trax wasn't around, I probably would revert back to Chinese writing. As it is, I don't even read Chinese anymore. It's alarming how fast things change when the time comes. Anyway I guess my relations with every single friend is in the midst of cooling off now. Which maybe just as well. So when it is time to leave, I won't look back.

Yesterday, I gave in to temptation and bought my Ettusais powder and bag. That was yesterday.

Today, I went back to school carrying my new Ettusais bag. Well, it's always the chase that's the pleasure. Still like the bag, but beginning to realize it's a little small since my large notebook has a little difficulty fitting in it. Plus the bag can't really be closed once my umbrella's inside.

Today, I gave in to temptation and went downtown again. Shopping. 1st day of GSS but couldn't find any suitable bargains in the limited amount of time (Luckily!!) Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, maybe I'll not. Who knows what advertisements will appear in the papers tomorrow.

The only 'higher' affair that took place of significance was dinner at Thai Express, Paragon branch. Well, food was excellent. No complaints mostly; both of us ordered Thai Laksa... suffice to say the gravy was a little too hot for me (just shows that my chilli eating capacity is zero still...) but I finished the noodles all the same. Now awaiting the following scenarios: pimple outbreak, sore throat, mouth ulcers. Who cares. Food rules.

In the meantime, all the brands and labels can go to hell. Avv, Fashion Lab, FEP, Future State, IS, Daniel Yam... well none of them have anything that can truly be considered a bargain or that is even remotely, suitably pleasing ennough to be bought. What a waste of time trooping down after school to take a look. Shall wait for Mango and Zara instead. In the meantime, could do more useful work writing my research summaries.

(Hmm... the Ettusais powder is quite good.... Except my current blusher looks too red on it... should get a more suitable blusher.... which brand has offers huh??)

Had another pretty uneventful day today. Got up, mum started complaining that her Estee Lauder Night Recovery Complex needs a moisturizer prior to that etc.. OK. Anyway, another half day spent hanging around Orchard going through all the cosmetic counters looking for THE moisturizer + sunscreen with anti-aging factors... arrghhh...

After peering through countless brands, 3 departmental stores, 2 cosmetic shops and 2 toiletries shops later, the winner was Lancolm's dunno what range. 50ml for $130. Together with a free bag + sample set. Upon joining as a new member to the Lancolm club (which of cos is free... all those gimmicks by cosmetic companies...) got another sample set. So now free gifts = 1 bag + 2 sample sets. How trite.

Feeling utterly depressed on leaving Orchard as I still couldn't bring myself to buy $80 of Ettusais products for the bag. Sulked in front of the computer terminal back home, till I found one for sale on Yahoo Auctions at $25. But on thinking it over during dinner, it didn't seem sane for me to pay for a bag that was free to the original owner. Henceforth made the decision to buy the day protect powder and dunno what else for my bag tomorrow.

Having made the decision, felt free, relieved and happy (Haaz.... me really like a kid... getting more and more childish each day....) Just finished writing my first summary review (erm... should have 10 by Friday before meeting Julianna on Friday) Anyway, the plan is to go school early tomorrow morning, mug till the end of the day, then go Orchard to shop and have dinner. Mmm... currently craving for Vietnamese food after eating at the quite-good-tasting Vietnamese stall at BJ Food Court the other day.

And finally Trax is out of camp permanently (until next year, which judging by how he goes he'll find some excuse, probably HYP, to stay away anyway). His fitness test results make me shake my head.... sighz.....

Shall play one game of BeDazzled before getting back to work on my next summary....Ohhhhhh... and I just love the Puss In Boots (Shrek 2) photo of him acting cute and pitiful that someone is using as an avatar....

I've become addicted to the most meaningless pastime on earth... that of beauty...cosmetics...skincare...

Trooped down to the Estee Lauder sale and splurged $119 for a cleanser and eye cream... Free gifts was VERY good.... Got this entire cosmetic pouch with pretty good sample set inside... Well, was pretty much happy with what I got even if I wasn't the first 500 and couldn't get an extra lipstick and blusher...

...Until that is, my mum went to the sale this morning. And came back after spending more than $200... Free gifts included that particular cosmetic pouch set, a loose powder, blusher, lipstick, and a tote bag! What an insult manzz..... Apparrently, she met up with this very nice consultant who gave her those free gifts which were ONLY for Citibank credit card holders (blusher, lipstick, & powder; incidentally the same blusher and lipstick was what I had wanted to get by being the first 500 yesterday) as well! My mum's been influenced by me haa... she tried my eye cream (the sample in the pouch) yesterday and swore that she saw a lessening of her dark circles, leading to her little shopping trip at EL today.

Bought a Fasio mascara yesterday... to realize the EL pouch inside contains a mascara. Shan't open it until I finish the EL one, I think.

I'm still as undecided as ever whether to get the Ettusais purchase of at least $80 so that I can claim their jelly bag (ooh... I luve that bag... even worse, that kind of design I saw for sale yesterday minus the polka dots at a ridiculous price of $99 under the URS brand...)... What will probably happen is soon time will be up (this Thursday) and the promotion will end. Then no need to think anymore.

Saw the advert in Streets today. Apprently the Kanebo Kate range has a quad eyeshadow which I hadn't seen at their counter previously. Well, wonder how much cheaper this is than their usual $54 of their other more high class range.

Now about yesterday.

At 8am approximately, while I was still lying in bed 3/4 asleep (having slept at 3am the night previously watching Shrek on my computer) Trax called me. Told me his stomach flu was back again. So, becoz I was sleepy, I suggested, let's cancel our appointment to meet today so that he can recover (and I can continue sleeping).

Fast forward to 11:50am. Trax called me again.. chirpily.. (did he call me in between? Can't remember... dazedly asleep) He was grumbling and talking about how good the reviews for Shrek 2 were. Suddenly had a GREAT urge NOT to stay at home which meant doing work (writing the summaries that I've to send to Julianna this Friday). So, arranged a hasty meeting in town to watch Shrek 2.

Yupe, that was how I got to know of the EL sale (after flipping through the Straits time, an after-getting-out-of-bed ritual everyday to look for what new sales there are in town) and decided to do some shopping. Think we went to Orchard on the same train together (were smsing each other haa... but I didn't see him.. different carriage)... and of course dragged a very bored guy down to EL with me to see skin products.

Shrek 2 was great! Especially liked the part of the giantic Gingerbread Man helping Shrek and Donkey storm the castle in Far, Far Away. Omg... I luv the Gingerbread Man... he's so cute... and he had to dissolve in milk in the end... How sad.

Been spending a horrendous amount of money on movies lately (haa... most of the time Trax pays lorz... no wonder he's broke... I'm broke too from shopping lorz...) Troy, Van Helsing, Shrek 2, soon to be Harry Potter and Travellers and Magicians... Had a rather nice tea at the Coffe Club in Takashimaya trying some fondue... Hmm, next time I should have a proper meal there... Even ended up going to the library borrowing fashion magazines (really first time for me lorz.. I only read fashion mags usually because I'm SOooooo bored in my cousin's house...) Hmm... it's like cosmetics/beauty/skincare products has turned into this huge playground for me to 'play' around and experiment... This is baaaadddd..... for my wallet that is... Cannot believe it but really have been religiously using what I bought previously... Opps....

Trax'll be out on Thursday..day when I have to go to school and mug since he personally 'promises' to 'push' me... Anyway meeting Juliana on Friday so no choice either way. Should get started on my summary on virtual communities... 'cept that I wanna go to the library again today (to return that silly overdue CD-ROM & borrow more fashion mags.... Oppss... it's terrible to become a fashion victim...)

Haaz... I suppose once I'm even more bored I'll take to experimenting with Trax's face instead... Got him the Nivea face wash he used to use in Uppsala... He promised me he'll use it everyday... bcoz I threatened to get him even more expensive and troublesome acne ones if he doesn't.... Hmm... should have a good chat with his dear ole fren and ask her how she deals wif his best fren... Suprisingly Trax's complexion isn't so bad despite the terrible life incamp now... if he doesn't mistreat his cheeks his complexion should be able to improve (judging from his forehead looking quite good, but his cheeks damn bad due to the maltreatment from using pure soap bars...)

Hmm.. suppose that's me lorz... jumping around from one pleasure to another periodically and coming up with new headaches for everyone around me... wonder how long this fervour and enthusiasm for cosmetics will last... probably not very long especially once I start concentrating on doing research.. still, it's an awfully interesting albeit costly pastime... Figure and prices seem to mean less and less each day... especially when I know that once I'm back in NUS, I'll probably be hibernating for the next 6 months or so....

I've been slacking compulsively....

Well, for starters, absolutely didn't do any reading or research for UROP this week. Why? Hahaz...

Slacked Mon away. Tue was the results release day... trepidation for the entire day until I got my results... then high for the rest of the day playing Mahjong.... Thank God I passed Stats!!! Was betting and certain I would fail.... Actually got a C+ when I was expecting an F! Anyway, whatever it does to my CAP, I'm very happy I'll never, ever, on my life, see IT again! Was terrified I'll fail cos that'll mean I'll have to be stuck with the stupid module for another 6 months! As for the rest of the modules... nothing fantastic... Bunch of A-B range grades... Only surprise was 3251 which by some wierd stroke of fate got an A... Huh??? Think 90% of the people must have screwed up the finals after all lorz.. So overall, there was a very, very, very slight improvement in grades this semester, but still not enough to push me back into the above 4 range... I'm 0.06 behind target... Sianz... How ironic when Trax improved by 0.06 and got his 4.5 range and now is musing over how to get into Dean's list.... arrrghhhh....

Wednesday, went back NUS library to return some stuff.. Then met mum in Orchard to do some cosmetics shopping... She got her powder and concealer from Kanebo.. I gave in to temptation and got my Kose Sekkisei whitening skin set and my Shiseido cleanser.... waaah.... Oh my god... I spent $198 on cosmetic products!! I must have been out of my mind!!!!

Thursday, went to the very disappointing Tangs warehouse sale in the hopes of cheap fashion wear, but couldn't find anything other than household products... Doubled back to Isetan Wisma and bought a skirt... and a pair of flats from Charles & Keith before going for Piano class....

Friday... went NUSPE session... Landed up in BJ after that but couldn't find anything worth buying... Still landed up in Watson's buying Eye makeup remover.. haiz.. I'm really super influenced by Flowerpod forums nowadays... splurging like crazy on cosmetic beauty products...

Anyway... keeping track of expense...
1. Kose Sekeissei Newbie Set: $80
2. Kose Sekeissei Night cream: $80
3. Shiseido Pureness Cleansing Foam: $38
4. Orange skirt: $16
5. Charles & Keith flats: $17.90
6. Loreal eye makeup remover: $7.90

Total: $239.80

Wish list:
1. New Etussais powder
2. Shiseido 4-color eyeshadow palette
3. Kose 4-color eyeshadow palette
4. Shiseido foundation & powder
5. More dresses....

Entries from 12/5/04 and before here
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